Pancho Pistolas by Marian Casillas, Ed.D.

 

Pancho Pistolas by Marian Casillas, Ed.D.

Every Sunday morning since her son Christian died, his mother, María Christos has been going to pick up Noelle so that both of them can attend the Traditional Latin Mass at the Cathedral downtown.  Noelle introduced Christian to the Traditional Latin Mass, and Christian introduced his mother to the Traditional Latin Mass.

Noelle and Mrs. Christos usually go home after Mass but today Mrs. Christos invites Noelle to brunch at Pancho Pistolas Restaurant.   Noelle is reluctant because that was the restaurant where her and Christian went on their first and only date before they became engaged in the hospital. Their first and only date began with the Vigil Mass of the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God at the Cathedral, dinner at Pancho Pistolas Restaurant, and then the security company New Years Eve party.

Mrs. Christos notices Noelle’s hesitancy and quickly offers, “Unless you prefer to go somewhere else.”

Not wanting to offend Mrs. Christos, who throughout all this time has been like a great mother-in-law to her, that she knows she would have been if  Christian and her had gotten married, but now they have become good friends.

“No, that’s fine.”  Noelle can’t bring herself to say the name of the restaurant because she knows she will start crying remembering the antics Christian portrayed imitating the cartoon cut-out character of Pancho Pistoles. Both being gun-toting, thick, dark black mustached banditos. Except Christian wore a cowboy hat and Pancho Pistolas wore a sombrero.

Upon entering the restaurant Noelle is literally taken back and emits soft sound of surprise.

Mrs. Christos purposefully requests a booth so they can sit across from each other because she wants to look into Noelle’s eyes when they speak. They say the eyes are the mirrors to the soul, Mrs. Christos plans on having a soul to soul talk with Noelle.

After the food is served Noelle closes her eyes, bows her head, blesses herself with the Sign of the Cross then brings her hands into the praying position and softly begins “Bless us O Lord . . . .”

Noelle enjoys her bowl of caldo de camarón with corn tortillas and to drink agua de horchata, and Mrs. Christos likewise enjoys her plato de chiles rellenos and agua de tamarindo.

After they finish eating Mrs. Christos looks straight ahead into Noelle’s eyes and begins,” I know you loved my son, and he loved you very much.”

And Noelle adds, “And he told me that you would love me because you would love that I was a good Catholic girl.”

“Yes”, Mrs. Christos acknowledges and continues, “ Yes, I do love you and because I love you I’m telling you that Christian would want for you to move on with your life. He would want you to be happy, to get married, and have a family just like both of you wanted. He would love to see you once again in your joyful and merry Christmas outfits, and not always wearing the dull and drab black clothing of mourning. He would’ve hated it if he was the cause of your sadness and staying stuck in the past.”

Noelle sits silently.

Mrs. Christos continues speaking to get everything off her chest, “ I don’t mean to offend you, and I realize that all of us mourn differently, but mijita it’s been three (3) years and you’ve  always been more like a daughter to me than the daughter-in-law you were going to be. I just needed to tell you this and I hope you understand what I am trying to tell you.”

Noelle’s eyes glisten with moisture, and she takes deep, long breathes.

Still she sits in silence.

Mrs. Christos has said everything she had wanted to say.

They both leave the restaurant in silence, and the silence continues during the car ride back home.

Noelle recognizes that Christian’s mother is the closest connection she has to him, and she would never do anything to jeopardize that relationship.

Upon exiting the car Noelle simply  says, “Thank you.”

Mrs. Christos responds, “You’re welcome.”

Noelle recognizes that God speaks the truth we need to hear through other people. The phrase “don’t stay stuck in the past,” resonates in her heart, mind, and soul.

She can’t go back to her Christmas themed life, and it’s time to do away with the pitch black dreariness of the death knell always ringing with the sad sound of the demonic demeanor of despair and despondency . 

Noelle realizes God gave her this life to live, to be a witness of God’s Love and Joy, all for the greater glory of God.

The thought comes to her, instead of going to visit Christian’s grave, she’ll spend that time volunteering at the homeless shelter soup kitchen.

Noelle informs the receptionist that she would like to volunteer to work where she is most needed.

“Great!” the receptionist exclaims, “First you’ll fill out this form and then the director will interview you.”

The director introduces himself, “José De La Paz.”

Noelle unexpectedly says, “Peace.”

And José almost automatically responds, “And peace be with you also.”

They both smile.

Noelle thinks to herself, that’s what I need in my life, peace.

José looks at her volunteer application form and remarks, “I’m sure everyone tells you, you have a beautiful name, Noelle Navidad.”

And she imagines, Noelle De La Paz, that would be a beautiful name also.

Her dream wedding became a reality. She wears a traditional wedding gown, her bridesmaids are in pink sequined dresses, and the groomsmen in tuxedo’s with pink bow ties and pink cummerbunds. No, she doesn’t get married on December 26. Their wedding is on the Feast of Saint Joseph the Worker on May 1st. 

The De La Paz family of nine (9) enters Pancho Pistolas restaurant. She likes to think the family represents the Nine Choirs of Angels. After Mass, they’ve come to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. Their teenage son spots the cartoon cut-out character of Pancho Pistolas and stands next to him imitating his rootin-tootin, ridin rawhide signature send off with hand-shaped pistols shooting high in the air.

Life is filled with many fond memories, and every time something reminds Noelle of her first love she knows that Christian is in heaven praying for her and all of her family: her husband - José Sr., and all her children José Jr. (JJ) 17, the twins María and Jesús 15, Angela 12, and the triplets Micaela, Gabriela, and Rafaela 8.

The three (3) teenage children: José, María and Jesús have formed a trio and are serenading their parent’s with their mother’s favorite Spanish bolero songs.