Identity-politics at the Thanksgiving-table by Marian Casillas, Ed.D.

 

Identity-politics at the Thanksgiving-table by Marian Casillas, Ed.D.

 

Every weekend before Thanksgiving, it’s been a family tradition to go to a turkey farm and find the best turkey to roast for our dining pleasure.

I gleefully acclaim, “Look, that one looks good to eat.”

Response: “I’m not a turkey. I self-identify as a bald eagle, so there, you can’t touch me. I’m protected by the Bald and Golden Eagle Protection Act which is a United States federal statute that protects me. I was chosen as a national emblem of the United States by the Continental Congress of 1782 and was given legal protection by the Bald Eagle Protection Act of 1940. This act was expanded to include the golden eagle in 1962. The Act provides criminal penalties from a maximum fine of $500 and six months imprisonment to a maximum fine of $5,000 and one year's imprisonment. Furthermore, in the case of second conviction, the penalty is increased to $10,000 fine and two years imprisonment. The maximum amount of a misdemeanor offense is increased $100,000 under the Criminal Fines and Improvement Act of 1987. In addition, $250,000 will be fined for an individual for a felony conviction.”

I joyfully exclaim, “That one over there looks nice and plump.”

Response: “I’m not a turkey. I took a DNA test like Elizabeth Warren when she was running as the Democratic Presidential candidate to prove she was Native American, and just like she discovered she was 1/1024 Native American, I found out I was 1/1024 Roadrunner. So there, that proves it; I can say I’m a roadrunner. I’m so fast; you can’t catch me if you try. BEEP! BEEP! I’m out of here.”

I quizzically proclaim, “But you’re still here, you haven’t gone anywhere.”

Response: “That’s only a figment of your imagination.”

I look around the turkey farm, all baffled and confused. They look like turkeys, they sound like turkeys, they smell like turkeys, and when you touch them they feel like turkeys. But I guess I have to believe what they want to call themselves. Guess we’ll have a vegetarian Thanksgiving Dinner.

 

Marian Casillas, Ed.D.